Last month I went to the local dog pound and picked up a dog for my youngest daughter. It was $80 total for a great dog and has helped to redeem the experience I had with our last dog.

On Christmas 2001 my sister took it upon her self to burden us with a dog. She did not ask, she did not inquire---just bam, here is an expensive dog. He was one of those Cairn Terriers like Toto in the Wizard of Oz. Once he got to our house he realized that he “was not in Kansas anymore.”

Growing up in a small town, my idea of a dog is that they are low maintenance, stay outside and are loyal. This dog was none of these. Apparently dogs just can’t have sex on their own choosing; ones with a bloodline must be bred in a prearranged manner, much like humans. And, this pure breed dog was supposed to be intelligent, yet I saw no signs of it.

Before I knew it, with a shock collar for the “Invisible Fence” we had to buy and shots etc. we had over $1000 in this idiot dog. From the beginning he snapped at everyone with no provocation and chased cars with apparently no idea what he would do if he caught one. In short, the dog was crazy.

Pet of the Week

Mitch
1 - 2 year old male German Shepherd Mix

This and other pets are available for adoption at Suncoast Humane Society, 6781 San Casa Drive,

One night I was bringing my kids home from my son’s football game and drove up my winding driveway. My dog, now named Mulligan (as I had threatened to get rid of him twice and was convinced by my family to give him another chance- like a Mulligan in golf) laid spread eagle in the drive. Not having enough sense to move and, I promise, I did not see him- gets run over by my car.

My kids are crying, so we quickly get him into the car and head down the driveway. The problem is we forgot to unhook his “Invisible Fence” shock collar and he catches about 1000 volts to the neck. On the bright side, it made him forget about his leg for a few seconds.

We go to the local Vet and it is full of women with multiple cats, and workers that look like they just got back from a Greenpeace event. They seemed to have big hearts and hips to match. The vet’s assistant calls the next day and says it will cost $1,600 to fix his leg.

This is crazy, so I ask my wife to call another veterinarian surgeon and the two others in town happen to be $1600 too. That seemed odd in a competitive market of 4 million residents free from price collusion! Enraged, I then call my HMO; I think their name is Walk It Off-Medical and asked them how much they pay for a broken human leg. The reimbursement is only $650 for a person’s leg. Now in the Vet’s defense I chose a cheap HMO, instead of Viagra they provide a Popsicle stick and duct tape, but still, the price differential seems odd.

People’s illogical love for their dogs is not lost on veterinarians around town.

Now before you get all mad at me, I found out in talking to his assistant that the dog was already given the surgery as they had never encountered a pet owner who would not fix their pet. I tell the Vet that he and the other two in town were in price collusion and should be ashamed of themselves. They were the worst of mankind, playing on folks' emotions and affection for their dogs by charging that much. They were worse than televangelists that prey on the folks that can least afford it. And while his place looked like a MoveOn.Org office, he was a greedy pig and probably in violation of anti-trust laws.

He said “what will become of your dog if he is not fixed?” I said he will limp at first. The best in the country are three legged dogs or ones with major afflictions, it gives them character. And Mulligan is a hyper dog to boot; it might just calm him down. My dogma was clearly beating their karma.

He did the surgery for $650 and my kids learned two things. First, everything in life is negotiable and never take anyone’s 1st price, especially when the goods or service price has little basis in reality. Secondly, and most importantly, is not to get hurt when I have their medical powerof-attorney.